Thirty Eight

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight.  Do I got for the vault? No. I go for the Chandelier.  It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business.  She’s Tiffany.  I say ‘no’. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms.  I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her.  Beside, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. Now this is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris  by the Trocadero.  She’s been waiting for me all these years.  She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin.  That’s where I stashed the chandelier. And I did it all without a gun.

But there is a right tool for every job and sometimes that tool is a very large gun.